Raveen Kumar

Matrimonial Sites Absolutely suck (In India)

Never knew that the matrimonial system was broken until now. I am at an age where, with the help of my parents, trying to find the "right one" and tie the knot. Like most Indian's, my marriage will be an arranged marriage (maybe, maybe not), not that I am complaining. Almost every one in my parents' generation got married by Arranged Marriage and living a happy life ("I think so").

It has been around 1 year since we started looking, and we have no clue what we are doing. I am talking about purely in technical perspective. Without the right connections, we are left at the mercy of the matrimonial sites (and dating sites).

There are quite a lot of matrimonial sites, as far as I know, the top 2 are Bharat Matrimony and Shaadi. There are some others less popular ones too.

And across the board, "All OF THEM ABSOLUTELY SUCK", from the presentation to UI to filtering options and many more.

*They are absolutely atrocious, dreadful, awful, disgusting, gross, hideous, horrid, repulsive, pieces of huge elephant dung..........*

I have never encountered anything that is created as pitiful as these match making Websites. They have no reason to exist.

When a social problem becomes a technical problem

I don't even understand. What? How? Why? When?

Hell, I feel that I am much better off putting myself out there in the real world than scrolling through this pointless excuse of a Website. Based on my experience, I know for sure this is true because I was able to make new connections IRL when I tried.

As an engineer myself, I can think of a million ways to make this so much better. But I don't have the power, money or the resources to do it. But, I know we can if many good engineers got together and solve it as a technical problem.

These are my biggest gripes with the current situation,

I believe that no ethical service provider will have more than 1 or 2 tiers subscription plans. But on most matrimonial sites, the plan goes from a few thousand rupees, to tens of thousands for the next tier, and keeps getting higher. I see at-least 5–7 tiers, each with different perks. The worst part is that the price varies even it that one tier. If I try to pay some amount and cancel it, after a while I get calls about offers on a better deal for the same tier.

The sales calls are even worse. The sales rep always tries to up-sell me on higher tier, when I clearly say that I have no money. It's exhausting. These fools have no clue what they are doing.

The whole system is a huge scam. The sales rep gets incentive to sell, not to do a proper service. I have seen this so many times in the service industry. A common one I know is the fitness and cosmetics, where the same kind of scam pattern can be observed.

The success stories are total lies, If I ask for statistics they just go silent. Most are call centre contractors who have no experience whatsoever.

I am not saying that matrimonial sites are bad. They are a necessary evil. But still, it should not be this hard. Overall, the gender ratio is almost 50/50.

When a social problem becomes a Financial problem.

It took me a long time to realize how much money I need to earn so that I can be a "respectable" groom. Even still, it is never enough. I can always earn more. But that is not the point here anyway.

As an engineer, I really feel that finding the “right one” should be easy. It is just data. And we have so much data. Generations before us had no luxury of this, but we have so much, yet we have implemented a system so poorly that it makes me virtually vomit whenever I open these sites.

The sad part about this is the stress that comes with it for me and my parents, who have no clue about how to use these websites effectively.

I see this pattern everywhere, especially at places where people have the slightest hint of desperation and incentive to spend money. For example, banking websites, shopping websites, cosmetics, etc. Wherever the user is spending money, the corporations have plans to make them pay even more.

When was the last time you just visited Amazon and just bought that only one item that you went to buy? No. Never. You always want to buy more.

When was the last time you just watched that one YouTube video that you wanted to watch. Almost never, right?

Corporations always want to take something from you, Whether it is money or attention, There is always a catch.

I really wish that one day could have a simple find and grep command to find the right one.

find . -type f -exec grep "the right one" {} \;

I am pretty sure this will not happen in my lifetime.

I am at an age where my ego is slowly disappearing and seeing things clearly as it is. I see no viable solution in sight, besides hanging on to this broken system. Maybe I'll get lucky.

One cannot make an omelette without breaking eggs, but it is amazing how many eggs one can break without making a decent omelette.

Professor Charles P. Issawi

This is becoming a classic case of shooting yourself in the foot.

You try to shoot yourself in the foot but you can't find your foot. But when you find your feet, you loose your gun, and when you find your gun you loose your bullet, and when you find your bullet, you realize that you gun license expired...

#life #posts